.: Marriage?? :.

In the name of Allah the Most Gracious Most Merciful

There are 3 rights that your children has upon you:

1. To be fathered or mothered by good people

2. To be taught reading the Quran

3. To be married off to a good person

Yesterday I YM along and asked her about her engagemnet party. MasyaAllah... It was simply beautiful! I really wished that I was there to see it but at least, insyaAllah, I could go and see the more important day of her nikah later this December.

And while I was chatting away with along, Asma was also talking with her umi. Later she told me how her umi (mother) was quite concerned with her brother's future wife. Wow~ and weren't there quite a lot! I was ignorant to the fact how future mother-in-laws will weigh up and down their prospective son's wife. And... in a way... the details are hprrifying... huhu~

Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet (p.b.u.h) said, "A woman is married for 4 things, i.e, her beauty, her wealth, her family status and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman [otherwise] you will be a loser"

MasyaAllah.. Allah had already taught us how to choose a future spouse. But in our day and age, what criteria has become the benchmark?

1. Her education

- finished studies already? Secondary? diploma? degree? masters? And is it comparable with their son's level of education

2. Her age

- Older..?? can't you find someone younger? Too young?? Are you sure she's not there to rip you of your wealth?

3. Her personal skills

- can she communicate well with others? Can she fit in the family? Can she sew? cook? clean the house? look after children? Everything must be no less than perfect!

4. Her occupation

- Comparable with the son's? what about the wages? Good enough or too good?

5. Her origin

- No Kelantanese... No Negeri Sembilan girls... No Sabahan... No KL girls... No... no... (lucky there's only 14 states in Malaysia) If possible, find someone near home and build your family there

~sigh~ why has the marriage institutions gets this harder and harder to venture..? Yes, there are some very relevant issues being considered but some others are completely ridiculous.

So now we are facing a society who don't want to get married young. Their reasons?

1. 'I am not ready'

People, mark my words, until you have passed the threshold of a married couple, you can never be ready for what awaits you beyond it. Even after getting you first child, you may still not be ready. But being ready is not the problem. The best thing is to try your hardest to be prepared. Just like your exams. It is not until after you answered the first question or after receiving your results that you admit you were ready.

2. 'My calling has not come yet'

What is most glorious than the calling of Allah?

"And of His signs is this: He created for you companions from yourselves that you might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. In this indeed are signs for people who reflect" [30:21]

SubahanAllah

3. 'I don't have a candidate'

Ladies and gentlemen, finding a spouse is a work.. an Ibadah in itself. Like the earlier hadith, it is a right that you have to fulfil. Yes, your future half has already been set out for you. Already written. But, you cannot expect them to just come flying to you if you don't put the effort to find them. Don't misinterpret this as telling all of you to go out to mingle, socialize and date. No!! There are much more subtle and beautiful ways of knowing a prospective spouse that has been ruled out by Islam. So follow the rules and don't commit mistakes before marriage. Like Bro Ali said in his video, start with a good step.

Brothers and sisters, I was brought up in a society that was reflected above. A society where marriage is more of a hush-hush, only adluts can talk about issue. How adult is adult though? It is when you have already finished your studies, have worked for at least a year, have a car or a house and is stable financially. In this case, I would only get married by the age of 28.

In a way, as Kak Nida' told me, we cannot blame our parents on this. They may set a certain criteria of when to get married, but in reality, your maturity is the main thing that they will consider. They know you more than you know yourself. More than you will admit. And they are just trying to help and see whether you are truly able to enter the married life. It is on our part (the youngsters) to show them that we are, truly, able to do so.

However, parents, if you are reading this, please don't make it so difficult for your children. Thousands and thousands of ringgit for a wedding? Remember, it is a sunnah to invite people to come and know about your child's marriage but going over the board and spending extravagantly, there will be more sins than good being accumulated in the wedding ceremony.

The family institution is the most basic institution in our religion. It is where a child is nurtured and personality being developed. InsyaAllah, if we start a family right, we developed a new generation of Muslims who has their izzah in being a muslim, eventualy, these individulas will form a community, then a society, then a nation... Who knows. By the time our great-great-great grandchildren are born into the world, Islam might be leading the world again.

I am not very well versed in the fiqh of marriage. For more information on Islam and marriage, do visit this site:

http://www.jannah.org/sisters/marriage.html

"O Allah! I seek Your Guidance (in making a choice) by virture of Your knowledge, and I seek ability by virture of Your power, and I ask You of Your great bounty. You have power, I have none. And You know, I know not. You are the Knower of hidden things.

O Allah! If in Your knowledge, (this matter) is good for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs; immediate and in the distant, then ordain for me, and make it easy for me and bless it for me. And if in Your knowledge, (this matter) is bad for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs; immediate and in the distant, then turn it away from me, and turn me away from it. And ordain for me the good wherever it be and make me pleased with it"

~Amin~

:: A Bad Dream ::

Assalamualaikum wrt...

People, I was really hoping to upload my along's engaement photos and a lil post on 'weddings'. But I'm afraid that will have to wait a lil...

Why?

Well.... I had a bad dream last night... You know when on the verge of sleeping you remembered someone and that someone enters your dream? That was what happened. Before going to bed, I was askinh Allah to guide me so that I make the right choice.

I don't remember the start of the dream. All I can remember is that at the end, someone commited suicide. A friend of mine died. Astaghfirullah... I really hope it is just sleep's play. That dream during Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep...

Ya Allah, please protect the people who are with me, around me and people who are dear to me. Help them in their times of need. Please grant us your sakinah (calm) ya Allah. To You we worship and to you only we ask for help. Please do not forsake us from your thoughts even for the shortest of time. Ya Rahman, please guide us and give us strentgh to overcome the obstacles that comes in our way

Amin~

Chasing Your Shadow

Assalamualaikum wrt...

Ah~ it's been a very very long while since I post anything in this blog. Time to do some winter cleaning ^^

Well, to start it off, today I went to a talk by Yusha Evans at the Arts Building TCD. At first I was apprehnsive. 'so? just another speaker from america. Yeah, ok. Whatever'. And if it was not because of my housemates (all six of them went) I might be locked up in my room still and doing anything that my laptop permits me to do.

At 6.30 pm the talk starts and masyaAllah. I was fascinated on how this one guy was always praising to Allah in both Arabic and the English translation.

The talk is part of a series of talk that Yusha Evans will give in a course of 14 days to arouse Muslim Youths on their potential and what has to be done: The Sleeping Giant.

From today's talk, what really made an impression on me was a saying by one of the sahabat;

"The world is like a shadow. If you try to chase it, it will run away from you. But the moment you turn your back on it, it will walk behind you"

I have been busy this few weeks with the workload from PPIMI and the upcoming HELWA day. And there's an online quiz to be attempted this weekend. And of course, there's study. And Tazkirah to think of.

But then.... Where had I put my priorities...? My niat, has it changed? Or simply non-existant at all? Am I just running after my shadow now? I don't wanna. Chasing a shadow is foolish since nobody can catch it. So now I should turn my back on it and start working on my niat. Refresh my niat and think more on my preparations for the life after. Then, insyaAllah, my tasks will be in order. More can be accomplished without me realizing it. That is Allah's promise to us.

Owh and one other thing that I liked very much... Smile (^,^)

Rasulullah s.a.w had once said that there will be a generation of people where what they do are 50 times better than those of the sahabat. Can you guess who.....??

Yup, it's US!! Us, the nobody that we think we are. Us who could barely keep our prayers in check. We are the one who were mentioned in that hadith. We are the generation who lives without seeing the prophet and still repeating the syahadah. We are the genration that is costantly being bombarded with all sorts of entertainment that can seperate us from our din. And to top it off, it is the time of youth where temptation runs high and persistently makes us want to do things against the teaching of Allah. And to think that our beloved prophet had been thinking of us even back then.... Subahanallah...

So, my dear brothers and sisters, when ever you confront with difficulties and a very very very strong urge of temptation to do munkar (I know how hard it is) just smile. Because every fight against temptation is a great win in Allah's favour. Smile because there are so many opportunities for us to do good. Smile because when someone looks down on you, bad mouth about you, or even do any physical harm to you, Allah will always be there to back you up. And when Allah backs you up, not even the world can defeat you

So smile, have faith, and always remember where your priorities are...

JazakaAllahu khairan kathiro (^,^)

When You Do Something Half Way

Assalamualaikum wrt...

"If you can't do something till the end, then don't do it in the first place"

Well, now that's one topic up for debate. Do you surrender straight away if you know that you will lose? I do believe that the battles and challenges in life are God's way of making you stronger. Makes you think more wisely and anticipate future actions. So doesn't doing anything make you look like running away?

However, what if you know that you cannot win. What if you know that something should not be told. What if you know that the action cannot be taken. What if even in the beginning you don't have faith to keep going strong ahead....?

In the end, with the doubts, you proceed your actions half-heartedly. You left a sentence half done. You retreat from a fight where you barely unsheathed your sword. Doesn't that make it more painful? To the receiver of that 'half' of you, the uncompleted part, doesn't it seem like you have cheated them?

Cheated them of their time, their patience, their courage, their will?

An entry just to make you ponder..... should you start something that you cannot finish...?

Salam Ramadhan~

Assalamualaikum wrt....

Ahax, seriously, the title should be 'Satay, satay, satay!!!' Yups, akhirnya, mimi dapat juga buat sate. Thank u, ibu... resepi ibu memang sedap ^^ (hehe... anak yang bias)


I absolutely love it. Hoho... tapi buat kali pertama x berapa jadi. Rencah x cukup. Kata ibu, buat banyak2 kali sampai dapat rasa yang kita suka. As in kena trial and error. Coz ibu kalau masak memang x ikut sukatan, dia ikut sesedap hati ;)

Okay... bagi mereka yang nak tahu macam mana nak masak sate, ni dia rahsia dia:

Bawang besar
Bawang merah (yang banyak)
Bawang putih (sedikit sahaja)
Halia (amat-amat kecil)
Jintan manis
Ketumbar
Serai (sebatang yang sederhana besar cukup dah)
Serbuk kunyit
Garam (sesedap rasa)
Gula (banyak kalau buat sate daging)
Daging (lembu atau ayam yang dipotong kecil2)

Cara dia? Kecuali daging, yang lain semua blend atau tumbuk kemudian gaulkan bersama daging tadi dan diperap beberapa lama. Bila dah dekat2 waktu berbuka, barulah bakar (goreng pun boleh dengan minyak yang sedikit atas api yang kecil) senang, kan.

Nyam nyam... Sedap~ ^^ adakah sebab memang suka sate atau perut sedang berkeroncong setelah berpuasa? Yang pastinya, ianya menjadi juadah berbuka yang sangat best. Ahax, walaupun sukatan x berapa nak membantu, selamat mencuba, ya~

Salam Ramadhan buat sekalian pembaca... Semoga bulan yang mulia ini tidak disia-siakan. InsyaAllah kita sama2 gandakan ibadat kita...

p/s: esok nak gi sandakan... semoga tiada apa2 dugaan. amin~